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 Location: United Arab Emirates |
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Presentation
HEY PPL,
I don't have anything to display on my page except some Jokes. So do read them!!
I hope they will bring a SMILE on your face.
SANTA BANTA JOKES
Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
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How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
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Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.
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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Banta: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .
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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
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STUPID QUESTION/ANSWER
1. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question -Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.
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2. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! the "Paneer butter Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionally also spit in it.
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3. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself
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4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.
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5. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
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REASON WHY NEVER VISIT A 5 STAR HOTEL
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
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ONE LINER JOKES
Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."
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"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"
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My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.
******
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
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"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
" Please wait someone else is using it."
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When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
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"Where did you get those big eyes?"
"They came with the face."
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I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls .
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But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.
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It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!
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"Look, guide, here are some lion tracks."
"Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."
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"Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky."
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A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.
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"Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
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I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.
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"My wife doesn't know what she wants."
" You're lucky. My wife does."
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We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.
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"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best. "
******
"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"
"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?"
******
"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months."
******
Have a Funny Day
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Direct link to this page: http://www.spogg.com/rossi/
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| OOZE |
Ooze High score: 615275 
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| Greed for more and more diverts you |
Greed for more and more diverts you,
Until you reach the graves.
No, but you will soon find out!
No! surely you will come to know!
No, if you only knew with sure knowledge
that you will will see the hell-fire(then you would perhaps mend your ways)
yes, you will surely see it with the eye of certainly
Then, on that day you will be(to account) for the delights(of life).
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Journal entry by Rossi at Oct 02 2007 |
1 Comment
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| Interesting Facts |
A zebra is white with black stripes.
All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.
The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.
The word "listen " contains the same letters as the word "silent".
The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
The most popular first name is "Mohammad".
Our eyes are of same size from the birth, but our ears and nose never stop growing throughout our life.
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
India invented the Number System . Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.(Please see the end of this journal after reading all the facts)
A snail can sleep for 3 years.
The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start(America, Europe, Asia, Antartica, Australia, Africa)
In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so much dust into the earth's atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.
"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.
Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil) , Mikazaru (Hear no evil) , and Mazaru (Say no evil ) .
It is impossible to lick your elbow. I know you had tried to do this. If you didn't then you are among the 3% of world's population.
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Rossi joined Spogg at Aug 06 2006 and has logged in 1359 times since then.
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